Wicked
by hermiones
Summary: Are you naughty or nice? Be sure not to lie. Because Santa - well, he's checking that list twice. Christmas Oneshot. —Sasuke/Sakura.


**first and foremmost, some very important _dedications_:**

**_to elle! _**_because you are positively wonderful. you're like pixie dust-you make the aag fly.  
__post script; you're pretty much on santa's awesome list._

**_to stover. _**_because no one else could have have organized that better than you, and you deserve this. also, I kind of sort of stole your formatting. smile.  
post script; you handled that so well. with the mock trial, and your work, and everything-you made the impossible possible. you're a miracle in human form. (:_

**_to akierin. _**_because you've been there from the very beginning, and I looooove you.  
post script; happy belated birthday. (: _

**_to the rest of everyone in the aag. _**_because you all rock so hard that you just don't even wear socks. you know you do, though. rock, I mean._

**_to my lovely reviewers. _**_because without you, there'd be no anything._

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_it's holiday season!  
but for all its christmas cheer and the season of giving and all that, _

_santa's always needed a good or bad list._

_and this holiday season,_

_(although tobi's been a good boy),_

_everyone else has been positively..._

_._

**w i c k e d**

.

_are you naughty or nice?  
and be sure not to lie, because santa..__._

_...well..._

_...he's checking that list _twice.

**.**

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_written by seleneswan_

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**"W**hat's your name, little fellow?" she grinned easily, squatting to get to the little boy's height.

He gazed at her with wild adoration, excitement sparkling in his dark brown eyes at the prospect of _meeting _with _the _Santa. "M' name's Tobi," he spoke with fervor, all the while sucking on a candy cane. His hands were sticky.

Sakura grinned at the prospect of seeing Kakashi's mournful expression when the little boy put his hands all over his Santa suit, getting his stickiness everywhere. "I'm Sakura, Santa's head elf! And, Tobi, to see Santa, you're going to have to stand in line!" she chirped, all saccharine.

He pouted. "But…_why?_"

Sakura smiled. "Everyone wants to see Santa, just like you do. And getting in line ensures that everyone has a chance to see him! Plus, standing in line makes you a good boy. A nice boy. And you don't want to be naughty, do you? Then you'll get a lump of _coal_ for Christmas." She said in a matter-of-fact voice. "In fact," Sakura added, "I'm here today to record exactly who is being naughty or nice so that later on tonight, Santa can check it twice." She waved the clipboard with names on it for emphasis.

In reality, that list was for Kakashi to seem as if he knew all the names of the little children who came up to him. At every ten children, she would hand him a new sheet of paper which he would glance over quickly, reading off the names.

Tobi looked horrified. "But I'm a _good_ boy! Tobi should be on that list as a good boy!"

Sakura serenely responded. "Well, then, you're going to have to get in line."

Needless to say, he scampered to the back of line instead of his previous position at the front, protesting that he should go first. Sakura stood from her crouched position, adjusted her hat on her head, and inwardly cackled at Kakashi's misfortune as she looked at the long line going at least five stores down in the mall to see Santa.

A voice crept into her awareness. "Halloween was two months ago, Sakura. You're not supposed to scare the little children off at this time of year." She didn't have to turn around to see the smirk on his face.

Sakura didn't bother to turn around, replying as she glanced over the names, tallying up how many kids had told Kakashi what they wanted for Christmas. Idly, she wondered if they would breach the ten thousand mark today, or if that would be tomorrow. "Sasuke-kun, I can't talk. I'm working."

The clipboard that she had in her hand was abruptly taken from her, then, and she spun around, hands on her hips, mildly irritated. "Sasuke, I'm _working_. I'm busy making the lives of children happy and-"

"Sakura!" Kakashi called out.

Sakura quickly glanced behind, cursed when she saw that she was supposed to have given Kakashi the list of kids four children ago. Nimbly, she snatched the clipboard back and hurried towards the large chair, scampering around the fake pine trees and over the powder and glitter snow.

"Sorry," she hissed. "Sasuke's being a pain in the…" she edited out words, seeing that a few children were looking at her curiously. "Anyways, here." She handed him the sheet of stationary, names listed down.

He nodded carelessly and scratched at his fake beard and scanned through the list before patting his fake belly. "Hm."

Sakura's lips twitched in laughter. The only reason Kakashi had ended up in this position was because he was low on money to pay off his bets, and Sakura had amusingly offered him the position to be a mall Santa.

Interestingly, although he was disgruntled initially, he seemed to be quite content to be paid for sitting in a chair and listening to kids ramble on about everything they wanted. Occasionally, some child would bring him Christmas cookies because of their devout reverence to Santa.

Sakura signed and walked away, tugging on her small green dress as she geared up to greet little children all over again. She was readying herself to approach the small child behind Tobi who was covered in blue frosting from a cupcake. In his hand was a plush shark, and he seemed oddly desolate to be seeing Santa. Nevertheless, every child counted.

It was then that Sasuke came up to her again, tugging her away and twisting her around, his arms around her waist to keep her from getting away. "Sakura," he insisted, finally, irritation leaking into his tone.

Sakura sighed, relenting. "_What_, Sasuke." It was odd behavior for him to be demanding her attention so much, and she found that perplexing in itself.

"Anko's coming." He intoned softly in her ear, bending down to whisper it.

It was then that everything stopped in her mind. She froze. "Oh dear god." She gasped, and tore away from him, scanning. And then she saw her. Donning fishnet stockings, black boots, a too-small skirt and a winter pea coat, she was prancing over to the mall Santa station without a care in the world.

Sakura loved Anko's attitude and personality, but she was also Kakashi's girlfriend, and when they were _together_, things became…graphic.

And to top it all off, they were in the mall where all the little children's eyes were glued on Santa.

A horrified expression manifested itself on her face. And to make it all the worse, Kakashi had looked up, seen Sakura's appalled countenance, followed her line of sight, and stared. Kakashi's expression changed from bored to excited in a matter of seconds and Sakura's anxiety escalated.

And then the worst happened.

Their boss, the owner of the mall, Tsunade, was walking over to check on the station.

Sakura began to hyperventilate. Without a single thought, in her small green heels with little red bows on them, Sakura raced back towards the station, at the front of the line and exclaimed, "Close your eyes, little children! Santa has…a surprise for you!"

They all gasped in sheer wonder, clapping their hands over their eyes. "No peeking!" Sakura shrilly spoke. They all giggled.

Tsunade, in the background, raised an eyebrow.

And then Anko strutted over, plopping on Kakashi's lap. With a purely wicked expression on her face, she grinned. "Want to know what _I _want for Christmas, Santa?"

Sakura raced over to the stereo which was blasting Christmas tunes and turned the volume up a few notches, making sure that nothing could be heard besides the lyrics to "Jingle Bell Rock".

But Sasuke, Sakura, and Tsunade, along with dismayed parents _saw_ the whole thing. Anko whispered something in Kakashi's ear, wriggled on his lap quite deliberately, and then reached down to grab his package, before ending her spiel. "Now tell me," she spoke louder, this time. "Am I naughty or nice?"

Without waiting for his response, she pressed a kiss to his mouth and pulled his fake beard back up, walking away easily.

Sakura turned the volume back to normal, then, and grabbed Kakashi's stash of Christmas cookies from behind the chair. "Open your eyes, now!" Sakura sweetly said, and was awarded with more gasps from the little kids at the prospect of receiving more sugary confections.

Every last one of the cookies was given away, and many parents carted their children away quickly.

It seemed that they wouldn't reach ten thousand today, Sakura thought, as the line dwindled.

Sakura tossed Kakashi a harsh glare, and then a pleading look to her boss, whose face was enflamed.

Sakura's face turned white, losing all color, and she turned away, walking towards Sasuke. She buried her face in his neck, breathing in his scent. "Sasuke-kun, I'm going to get fired," she murmured desolately.

He wrapped one arm around her waist, rubbing the small of her back in a comforting motion. "It'll be fine."

Tsunade stepped in action almost immediately. "Kiddies, I'm sorry, but Santa's feeling awfully tired. He has to get his rest so that he can deliver all of the toys successfully on Christmas day." Tsunade gritted her teeth as she turned back to Kakashi. Sakura peered out from Sasuke's neck upon hearing that, slid out of his arms, and walked back.

"Time to face the Christmas music." She muttered despondently.

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**T**sunade carted the two of them into the back room, and proceeded to yell at the two of them, her face turning interesting shades of red and purple.

Kakashi was promptly fired, but he flounced out of the office happily enough, eager to find Anko.

And then, as the door shut behind him, Tsunade appraised her speculatively. "You handled that situation well," she finally said. "You saved the children's innocence, anyhow."

Sakura said nothing.

"I'm not going to fire you."

Sakura blinked. And then blinked again. "I don't understand."

"I'm not going to fire you, but I'm going to need a favor." Tsunade's lips turned upward, a speculative smile.

Sakura nodded eagerly, eyes wide. "Anything."

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**T**he next day, Sakura was back at her job, writing down the names of all of the little kids for the newest personable attraction at the mall. The scenery had changed, and a blue stool stood in place of the comfortable chair that once was. The pine trees were still there along with the snow.

But the sign, at the front of the blocked off area read something different: Meet Jack Frost!

Sakura busied herself with writing down all the names of the little children, even coming upon a small kid who had an unusual array of face paint on, one half of his face black and the other white. He was carrying a plant. His name was Zetsu.

The little boy, Tobi, was back that day, again, as well.

So Sakura scrawled the names down, waving at him, and then turned to give the newest edition to the holiday staff the list.

Sasuke sat on the stool, wearing a silver Santa's hat, the edges covered with fake frost on the fluffy fur. He was dressed in a bluish white costume, all iced up, and his expression was frigid.

People had, strangely enough, even given him sweet confections despite his icy attitude, which he tossed in the ever growing pile at his side.

"Merry Christmas, Konan." He intoned flatly at the girl who stood in front of him, gazing up at him in awe.

"So are you, like, an elf?" she wondered.

"Yes."

"Like her?" Konan pointed at Sakura who was standing at his side, waiting.

"Yes."

Sakura marveled at his ability to be so utterly unemotional, the perfect frosty elf.

"So what makes _you_ special?"

"I'm Jack Frost. I make winter come. I make the frost on your windows, the icicles on your trees. The snow that's everywhere is my doing. Frosty the Snowman is my distant relative."

Konan grinned toothily. "Wow! Well, bye, Jack! Merry Christmas!"

"Goodbye."

Sakura smiled warmly, his complete antithesis. A fond expression had melted over her face. "Sasuke-kun…thanks."

He glanced at her, eyes softening. "Aa."

And Jack Frost thawed.

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**post script: **I rather like writing post-scripts. much better than "P.S.", really.

oh, and an after-dedication: to criminal minds, hot chocolate, fleece blankets, driving, mint chocolate chip ice cream, the warded man, next, typing, and 2010.

happy holidays. (:


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